Your ability to communicate is probably the most essential ingredient to the health of your relationship. Most of what we call “communication” is not really communication at all. It is often blaming, complaining, judging, criticizing, accusing or defending. Often this type of “communication” is characterized with sentences that begin with “YOU” or “IT”. These little words have the power to place the attention on something outside of ourselves. You never listen to me. It’s always the same old pattern. It’s insulting when you talk to me like that. You’re a fool. As you can see, all of these sentence remove you from the equation and place the blame on the other.
True communication is making yourself known to another. It is opening up and sharing your immediate experience and your emotion that comes with it. When we put our attention outwardly, we are avoiding the fact that we are…
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Deb Burnett 